if only
by sorka robinton
Summary: this is n/k, sorry all you cleon fanatics. he wants to tell her his feelings (as usual) and makes the opportunity by using his Gift.


_hey peeps! i usually dont like hanson, only this song. anyway, this is n/k, sorry to all those people who are for cleon, im just as divided as you all. anyway, please review!  
  
  
If Only  
Hanson  
  
'Cause I need you.  
'Cause I need you.   
  
_Neal gazed at Kel. Sitting in his room, they were innocently studying their homework like they did every night. Her sleek shoulder length hair brushed against her cheek, and she fiddled with her pencil. She was even wearing face paint, artfully used to enhance her beauty.   
  
Goddess! he repremanded himself. I cant watch her every single minute! Yet, he continued to stare at her.   
  
Kel looked up. "Neal?"  
  
Jumping, he blushed. "What?"  
  
  
"You have been staring for about five minutes. What is it?"_  
  
Every single time I see you  
I start to feel this way  
It makes me wonder if I'm ever  
Gonna feel this way again  
There's a picture  
That's hanging at the back of my head  
I see it over and over   
  
_Her hazel eyes, fringed with lovely long lashes, watched him as he turned a bright pink. All he wanted was to hold her.   
  
But, knowing her...spirit..., would she let him? Or simply throw him over her hip and leave the room? Neal bit his lip in consternation. "Oh, yeah. I was just watching you." Then he nearly hit himself on the forehead. Why the Gods did he say that?  
  
Kel raised one beautifully arched eyebrow. "Watching me?"   
  
Damn, she didnt miss a single word. _  
  
Gonna hold you, love you.  
In my arms and then.  
Don't wanna leave you,  
'Cause I need to...  
Be with you 'til the end.  
Then I hear myself reply  
You've got to hold it in.  
This time, tonight.   
  
If only,  
I had the guts to feel this way.  
And if only,  
You'd look at me and want to stay.  
And if only,  
I'd take you in my arms and say,  
I won't go, 'cause I need you.  
'Cause I need you   
  
_Neal took a deep breath. He had to tell her, it wasn't possible to hold his feelings in any longer. Every time he was with her, he couldnt decide whether to hug her or just bother her until she laughed.   
  
However, the former was beginning to prevail on the latter._  
  
I sit here waiting wondering,  
Hoping, that I'll make this right.  
'Cause all I think about  
Is your hands, your face,  
And all these lonely nights.  
There's a feeling, screaming,  
In the back of my head.  
Saying over and over.   
  
_Taking a deep breath, he willed his Gift to do what he asked. Breathing a prayer to the Goddess, he practically cheered as all the lights in the palace went out. He heard an amused laugh in his head, and he was reassured that the deity was on his side.   
  
Next to him, Kel shrieked. Others in the palace did the same. Mages swore, unable to call up light. Finally, he heard the King yell that everyone just stay where they were until the lights were back, and dont move for Gods' sake and break your necks.  
  
In the darkness, Neal steeled himself. "Kel?"   
  
"What?"  
  
He paused, then barreled on. "Kel, i like you and i cant hold it back anymore but i think im in love please dont hate me but i dont know what to do i dont know what to do im so stupid i cant believe im saying this Kel you're my best friend but i dont only want to be your friend all i can think of is you and-"   
  
Kel cut him off. "Neal! Breathe! Before you pass out!"  
  
Neal sighed. "But i cant breathe, you're right here!" he explained patiently.  
_  
Gonna hold you, love you.  
In my arms and then.  
Don't wanna leave you,  
'Cause I need to  
Be with you 'til the end.  
Then i hear myself reply  
She'll never let you in.  
This time, tonight.   
  
If only,  
I had the guts to feel this way.  
And if only,  
You'd look at me and want to stay.  
And if only,  
I'd take you in my arms and say,  
I won't go, 'cause I need you.  
Please don't go, 'cause I need you now.   
  
_"Kel, don't go, please," he begged, suddenly shy. Him, shy?   
  
Kel laughed lowly. "I think i can't, theres no lights anywhere!"  
  
Neal timidly took her hand. She was trembling, from anger, fear, or love? he wondered. _  
  
I wanna hear you say,  
It'll always be this way.  
We'll be hand in hand  
For every night, and every day.  
I wanna scream and shout.  
'Cause I'm losin' any doubt.  
'Cause all I care about is   
You and me, and us, and now.   
  
_"Kel," he continued in a stronger voice. "I love you. Ever since we became squires, I felt this. Two years, Kel! I can't hide anymore."  
_  
Oh yeah.   
  
If only,  
I had the guts to feel this way.  
And if only,  
You'd look at me and want to stay.  
And if only,  
I'd take you in my arms and say,  
I won't go, 'cause I need you.  
Please don't go.  
'cause I need you now, yeah  
'cause I need you  
  
_Kel stood up, he could tell in the darkness because her chair scraped gently on the floor. Closing the distance between them, she wrapped her arms around his waist.   
  
Smiling, he returned the embrace. But as he stroked her hair, Neal felt warm tears sliding down her face.   
  
"Kel?" he asked timidly, worried about the cause of her crying.  
  
"Oh, im sorry. Its just that, im so happy!" she cried into his shirt.   
  
He held her tightly. Tilting her face up in the dark, he gently wiped away her tears with his fingers. She drew in her breath at the contact, and he slowly took the next step. He kissed her soft, slightly parted lips. Struggling with his emotions, and not wanting to scare her, Neal was surprised when Kel kissed him back just as urgently.   
  
She responded well to his efforts, and held him tightly as she fell into his arms. The feel of her hands on his back made him giddy, but he concentrated on the fact that he, Nealan of Queenscove, was holding his dear Kel. Then, grinning, he ticked her sides.   
  
Screeching, she flipped him and pinned him on the floor, like a upturned turtle. So much for play.   
  
Laughing, Kel returned his tickle, and he yelled. She giggled once more, then turned their romantic night into a very interesting game of wrestling. _  
  
(if only...)  
'cause I need you now.  
(if only...)  
'cause I need you  
'I need you  
(if only...)  
'cause I need you  
(if only...)  
'cause I need you  
(if only...)  
(if only...)  
'cause I need you now, yeah   
  
_Around 2 o'clock in the night, the lights returned to the palace. The other squires wandered around, looking for their two missing friends.   
  
Faleron looked around. "D'you think they fell off somewhere?"   
  
"Doubt it."  
  
"Dont even think that, you dark creature!"  
  
Checking Neal's room, they found a toustled, sleeping Neal leaning against the wall, with Kel curled asleep in his lap. Sneaking up, Merric peered closely at Neal.   
  
Motioning silently, he gestured to a dab of lip paint of Kel's shade on his mouth and cheek. Grinning, Cleon came close, then bellowed "WAKEUPPPPP!"   
  
With a shout, the two woke instantly. Kel even got a punch in before she registered what was going on. "Cleon! Im so sorry!"   
  
Then, seeing how the others were staring at her and Neal, she blushed. Exchanging a glance with Neal, she thought, "How are we ever going to explain to them?"_  
  
  
  
whats up peeps? should i sequel? i need suggestions on what to write, so please give me some ideas and ill try to write them!  
_


End file.
